"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the tyranny and inequities of evil men, blessed is he who in the name of the lord may be the sheppard to the......ill come back to this :)"

"Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day, our daily bread and and forgive us for our trespasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for god is the kingdom, the power and the glory....amen."

"I know dude, there have been nights where ive looked at my .45 on my nightstand and thought about putting one to the hammer, if it werent for my kids, I probably would have done it a long time ago."

It's amazing the things that can happen in a persons life time....the things you would never think even possible...its amazing the things that you hear to help you get through everyday....if it weren't for some people in particular, im pretty sure I would have put one to the hammer a long time ago. I used to write about heartbreak that never seemed to amount to the way that I feel now...it was powerful, it was all I had in this state where nothing else existed for me. I wonder the damage that I can do now that I feel like ive fallen to pieces that arent able to be put back together.

check next entry...

So here I am again, lost in the epitomy sorrow for god knows why. It's times like these that us as human beings find ourselves at pause with life, just to see if we can find out when and where we fucked up. I though a friendship in the beginning would be a good thing, because in my past I found that not being well accquainted at first was a wrong turn to take to a very wrong road to follow. However this time I tried taking what I thought to be the right way, but I suppose that there is just no exact pattern, no exact code or no exact decription if I may of human bonding. It appears that it is very unique in it's own special way. Every two people, or three if you swing like that, have their own special code that just those two people have to figure out. I just wish I was a janitor in this situation and had the keys to every padlock of love, that way there wouldn't be so much mind bending involved in this affair of invisible reason.

I strongly believe in loving the opposite person to the fullest, never allowing them the chance to be without me and most of all never allowing my thoughts to be without them. I realize that there are two sides to a relationship and in order to be successful in one the two sides must find some sort of common ground in which they can agree to terms and make reasoning of general issues that may occur. But it just seems like somewhere inside, while I have knowledge of this, my mind and body just tell me different. I need help. Is it space? Is it not enough attention? Could it be the fact that the relationship has gone boring? I'm not so good at taking hints so I would try everything within my power to figure out the problem, but what if that is part of the problem? I'm afraid that as much of a hopeless romantic that I may be, I will never figure this out. I'm afraid that if I never figure this out it will lead me in one of two directions: to lead a life of monogomy or to go through with what John Mayer would call "Heartbreak Warfare". It would just seem that no matter what I try I'm bound to fail, after 4 years of trying I have failed, how could I possibly stand up to something that hardly exists and only in the span of a month, maybe two.